Monday, March 9, 2009

The best kitchen tea ever

Where on earth did the idea of kitchen tea parties hail from?

This weekend I attended one such shindig for a friend of mine. When I first heard about it I was not looking forward to the words of wisdom ranging from 'be nice to your mother in law come hell come high water' to 'always make sure the dishes are done' and I certainly was not lookin forward to the sex session...

So my friend picks me up and we made our way to the venue (brides house or ex-house) and her mum immediately says please make the punch alky and non-alky...So I was like cool and I began on my concoction of wine/brandy and goodness knows what else. Im done I open the freezer looking for space to chill what I thought was a damn good punch...Oh yes lets not forget the non-alky one.

I open this freezer and there was no space at all due to the six packs and six packs of beers...I was like goodness do they sell booze here? Had to resort to getting ice for my punches as there clearly wasnt any room for them in there...

So the part starts and no-one seems interested in the punch...rather the beers come out...I ws like uh...okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...There was a granny sumin looked like she had seen the better part of 70 in her heels, a shock of white hair on her head asking for a larger...Soon all the mothers were swigging away, voices started getting louder slowly but surely, insults being tossed about ladies began getting rowdy...Then the church ladies pitched in their uniforms dampening e atmosphere for about 45mins while they ate and imparted the dreaded words of wisdom...They sang two lovely church songs as they departed and the other ladies stood up hands glued to their beers singing and dancing along and taking a swig every so often. I tell you i was looking and thinking what is wrong with this picture?

Off went the church ladies and "the others" continued drinkin more freely now...Screaming for a radio, singing rude songs, dancing in ways Im sure you do not want to see your mother dancing. I tell you any bar on the night of a major soccer match had nothing on what was happening in the mother of the brides living room...This was now around 8pm and granny sumin was still goin strong wit her largers...I cant even describe in words how crazy these ladies were. I sat and looked wondering if this is what I would be doing 20 odd years from now..Even assigned personalities to each of my friends.

The party couldnt end of course with out a few words from a couple of "aunties" on you know what...Im telling you in this day and age they should seriously consider droppin that topic...Im pretty sure by the time most people get round to actually getting married they will have done all that and more.

All in all it was great! I think we should have them like this more often non of this boring sitting pretending to be shy and all knowledgable! We all have party animals inside us screaming to get out! Let them out for goodness sake thats why its called a kitchen tea PARTY!

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